Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize