i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize