I am in a vortex of obligation.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
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At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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