I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize