Christians are straight up FREAKS
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
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the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
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I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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