do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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