Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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