I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I have post one night stand depression
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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