Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
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