so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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