She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
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There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
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Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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