a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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