its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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