sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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