I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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