who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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