how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Your penis caused this!
do nipples grow back?
Randomize