we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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