I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
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Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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