I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
The best revenge is premature balding
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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