How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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