just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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