her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
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There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
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I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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