bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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