I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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