So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize