So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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