Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
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he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
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All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Randomize