the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize