I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
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