I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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