I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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