just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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