I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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