yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
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Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
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it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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