Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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