Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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