two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize