the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize