Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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