Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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