I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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