Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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