A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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