Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
His hands were made for my vagina.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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