Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
How does one acquire holy water?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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