Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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