This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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