Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
im about as happy as oj after his trial
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize