You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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