this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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