my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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